So…I’ve got a good story for you today…
…Before I start, anyone who knows me in real life can attest to the fact that if I start a story with “So…” it’s either really good or I’m really pissed off. Always. It’s just some weird verbal habit I’ve acquired over the years. Today, I’m not really pissed off so that means it’s a good story. Well, I think it is anyway.
The other night my husband and I were watching the local news. The newscaster said that an upcoming story was from a housing development about five miles from where we live. I knew immediately, before specifics were given, which housing development it was. A few years ago, a development of beautiful government funded houses were built for low income families. Now, before anyone gets offended here allow me to remind you that I grew up on the lowest rung of the low income ladder. It would have truly been a gift if my mother and I had been provided such an opportunity. And there are many many families out there who could benefit from and would truly appreciate a beautiful new home in a nice neighborhood where they could raise their children. With that being said, a number of undeserving individuals who choose to make their living from a combination of government checks and unsavory activities somehow or another qualified for some of these homes. Hence the reason I knew exactly what housing development the newscaster was referring to.
Now for the good part of the story. The newscaster said, and I loosely quote, “An area couple was arrested today on charges of access device fraud, identity theft, receiving stolen property and criminal conspiracy.” The criminal geniuses had the bulk of the merchandise shipped to their home and it included clothing, household items, car parts, 20 gallons of paint, car engines, and an estimated 30,000 plain t-shirts in various colors. Okay, car engines and 30 THOUSAND t-shirts…what the hell?
Here’s the punchline…the newscaster then stated that a neighbor called the police because…”There were always UPS trucks and FedEx trucks coming by every day as a daily routine, and then they open their garage door and there were tons of boxes.” Do you see where this is going yet? I said nothing, but I was thinking, like Barney Stinson used to say on How I Met Your Mother, “Waaaiit for it…” And boom, my husband did not disappoint. He said, “Hey, you better watch for the cops showing up at the front door to arrest you if they’re arresting people based on the number of UPS and FedEx trucks that stop at their house.” Man has a point. I’m probably currently under government surveillance. But seriously though, if you’re going to steal credit card information to feed your copious addiction to various colored t-shirts, maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t have all 30 freakin’ thousand of them delivered to your damn house.
If I do get arrested because UPS is at my house too often, I hope that I’m wearing this floral off the shoulder top because it’s so gorgeous I’m pretty sure it would make even a mugshot look good. It’s actually the exact same print that is on this tunic/dress and the same, but different color as this halter dress. Since it’s summer, it’s paired with denim boyfriend shorts, but once school starts back up in the fall it will look stellar paired with a black pencil skirt or even tulle. I added the pink belt for a little pop of color under the front tuck. I finished simple with the strappy black sandals.
Speaking of the boyfriend shorts, I have been looking for a suitable replacement for my very favorites that I mentioned last week were more “distraught” at this point than they are “distressed”. I’m happy to report that after searching for about a year, I found the perfect replacement at Old Navy. In my typical fashion, since they were absolute perfection, I ordered all three washes. And it just so happened they were on crazy insane sale at the time so I scored all three pairs and two tops for a hair over $50.
The front tuck. Definitely one of my BFF’s as far as styling tricks go. It works on everything from tee shirts to flowy tops to tunics. It gives you some definition at the waist plus a quirky touch of visual interest to the outfit. I occasionally will do an off center/almost side tuck, but more often than not it’s the front tuck. Simply take the section of your top directly below your bellybutton and loosely tuck it into the front of your pants/skirt. Pull the rest of the shirt out over the waistband so that it drapes down. Simple as that. For a more detailed “tucking tutorial” check out this article.
THE LINK UPS
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