Lace Up Sweater & Long Suede Coat: A Different Point Of View

Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots.

The world would be a much easier place to navigate if we all shared the same point of view. On everything. But the world would also be a rather bland and colorless place if that were the case…

THE STORY

…Think about it. As individuals we have differing views on everything. From trivial matters such as our favorite flavor of ice cream and whether women over 50 should wear shredded jeans, to meatier issues like the origin of the universe and who should sit in the White House. And that, my friends, is what makes the world such an interesting place.

Listening, really listening, to a differing point of view gives us the chance to learn and to grow as human beings. It gives us the chance to see a situation from outside of our own experiences. Perhaps understanding a differing opinion will change our own views; but at the very least it can give us insight into what makes the other person tick.

Here is the question: At what point, if any, do we stop listening to an opposing point of view and cut the person off? By cutting the person off I mean ending the relationship; unfriending or unfollowing if you’re talking in terms of social media. What got me musing on this was a post I read by Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen. Like me, Allie’s blog is predominantly fashion/beauty related although she does include the occasional post that provides glimpses into her real life. And sometimes those glimpses are political.

I have tried to make sure that when I have written about anything even remotely controversial, I’ve kept my words focused on me; my thoughts, my feelings. I have made sure not to name call or cast blame. I quite simply wanted to share my feelings both for myself as well as to give others food for thought. I always choose my words carefully. As does Allie. She too participated in the Women’s March last week and has shared several well-written posts about it. One comment in particular caught my eye. An individual who indicated that she had been a long time reader said, that if the political related posts continued, she would no longer follow the blog. Hmmm…

Anyone who has been around here long enough knows that not only do I have strong opinions against the current administration, but I’m also a huge advocate for gay rights, the rights of the disabled and public education. Do you have to agree with me? No. But do I hope that you read what I write and at least think about my words? Yes. If you choose to stop reading, or if you choose to skip ahead to the outfit portion of the post (that’s why I divide my posts with subheadings) that’s okay too. It is a free country after all.

I won’t lie to you. I have either unfriended/unfollowed people on social media or avoided them in real life over emotionally charged issues. But only if they have gotten ugly about it. For example, last year I unfriended a former high school friend on Facebook after she posted a particularly hate filled (although sugar coated) article in regard to the fact if you are gay you are going to hell, but since she’s a good Christian, she would still love you anyway. Sorry, but if you are going to presume to tell me that my baby is going to hell then I quite honestly don’t need you in my life. I also blocked a family member who believes that those of us who marched are whiny unemployed cry babies. How about taking a moment to try and understand why people are afraid enough to march as opposed to resorting to negativity and name calling?

After my post about why I marched, which I copied and pasted on to my personal FB page, I had a comment from a friend on the other side of the aisle. She said that she appreciated my words and my point of view. And do you know what? I appreciated hers. I believe that we all need to be a little bit more open minded and tolerant to the feelings and ideas of others; even when they are in direct opposition to our own. Blocking, unfollowing or avoiding people in order to avoid blatant negativity is one thing, but doing so simply to avoid differing opinions accomplishes absolutely nothing.

THE OUTFIT

Whenever I see a shot on Instagram or Pinterest with tights, in particular fishnets, under distressed jeans I always think it looks so cool. It’s just so visually interesting and a little bit edgy. The thing is though a) I’m not a fan of tights, and b) I don’t typically wear my “ripped the whole way through” jeans outside in the winter. But the other day I decided to give it a go.

Guess what I discovered? Fishnets are more comfortable then regular tights (which I already knew) so they aren’t confining under jeans, and they add a surprising layer of warmth under distressed denim. I suppose I never thought of fishnet tights as being warm due to the open weave, but quite honestly my legs weren’t cold at all. And they really did, at least in my opinion, look super cool under my jeans.

This gorgeous olive lace up sweater from Shein is one of my new favorites. It’s chunky and cozy and hello…olive green. The lace up detail, while currently on trend, is something I’ll continue to love long after the trendiness has died off. It can be tied tighter for warmth or left looser and open to show off lace bralettes or camis layered underneath. That detail kind of makes it the perfect layering piece.

THE TIP

If you’re intimidated by fishnets because of, you know, that bad girl vibe, try layering them under distressed jeans. The jeans don’t have to be as shredded as mine; even a small peek of fishnet adds a hit of visual appeal. And if you are a fan of shredded denim, this is the perfect way to make them winter weather friendly.

THE LINK UPS

Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…

Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots.Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots. Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots.Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots. Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots.Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots. Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots.Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots.Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots. Lace up sweater, long suede coat and Bearpaw boots.

Sweater: c/o Shein;  Boots: Bearpaw Boots (Similar);  Jeans: GAP (Similar)

**Sweater provided c/o Shein, but all opinions, as always are my own.

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18 Comments

  1. Lilly
    01.29.2017 / 10:08 pm

    Love your blog (your fashion and your comments- the total package). You mention the distressed jeans and women over fifty. I think they look super cool on you but still a little afraid to try them. I hope they don’t go out of style before I gather the courage to Give them a go:)

    • debbies
      02.2.2017 / 6:04 am

      Thank you Lilly! I am so happy you enjoy the blog. 🙂 As far as the distressed jeans go, start small; just a little bit of distressed scuffs here or there and then once your comfortable move on to more obvious rips. Also, pair them with something like a blazer and pumps…that will lessen the fear. Be brave…if giving distressed denim will make you happy then go for it!

  2. 01.29.2017 / 11:15 pm

    Man, you packed a punch in this post, Debbie!
    Because I’m always saying that we would be so boring if we all were the same! But you are so right about listening. I think this is a truly underrated quality. Listening to someone else’s POV can not only be enlightening, but it’s very personal. So even if you don’t agree with them, you can see more of their insides.
    I just read a quote that said, “don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.” Since I remembered it—it must have made an impact!!
    As for the outfit—I love fishnets, but I only have a nude pair! Now that may need to be remedied soon. As I have one pair of distressed jeans, but many times wear tights under them for warmth. But fishnets under them—now that’s way more interesting!!
    jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
    Jodie filogomo recently posted…Weekend Wear for the Men-Let’s Talk ShoesMy Profile

    • debbies
      02.2.2017 / 6:08 am

      I think black fishnets get a bad rap sometimes…like over the knee boots used to. They are actually pretty versatile. And honestly, listening to points of view that are different then my own takes work. Especially now. What has popped up in my news feed often determines how willing I am to listen… 🙂

  3. 01.30.2017 / 3:28 am

    My father told me once in a conversation, when I was nineteen, that people didn t listen to one another. I always remember that, and it is so true. So many people talk because they like to hear themselves! And I hate discrimination. I can t understand people that dislike other people without knowing them!

    And I love fishnet tights!😁😁
    Nancy Baten recently posted…BLACK BODYCON DRESS & LEATHER BOLERO & FANCY FRIDAY LINKUPMy Profile

    • debbies
      02.2.2017 / 6:08 am

      Thank you Jaymie!

  4. 01.30.2017 / 9:03 am

    So well said, Debbie, and useful for me to read right now, when I’m having that “unfriend” urge (and I have been deleted from others’ feeds as well, for my progressive political views). Listen with empathy is the best advice, and still be a fierce advocate and activist. Thanks for sharing this, xox

    -Patti
    http://notdeadyetstyle.com
    Patti recently posted…Back in Black: Visible MondayMy Profile

  5. 01.30.2017 / 10:08 am

    I think right now if we’re not happy with how things are going we can NOT be silent. If I lose followers, it’s worth it if I can inspire at least one person to act and not be passive. James Nord is the head of Fohr Card, a big and successful influencer company. This weekend on Twitter he said a few poignant things geared towards us bloggers:

    “Trump is president because of 107,000 votes, imagine you have an Instagram following of 500,000 and you did nothing.” https://twitter.com/jamesnord/status/825185902381129729

    “If you have a following and you’re not talking about this shit, shame on you. This is more important than your personal brand.” https://twitter.com/jamesnord/status/825185191647989760

    Whether we have a following of 10, or 10 million, we need to use our influence for good, not just greed. I’m proud of you for marching, and for speaking up. Being active is the most stylish thing we can do right now! <3

  6. Diane LaFreniere
    01.30.2017 / 2:54 pm

    I absolutely love you and your fashion sense! Enjoy your posts. Makes me smile and want to stay current…even at 65. :0)

  7. 01.30.2017 / 4:56 pm

    And THAT is why I love you, your blog, your brain and most importantly, your heart!!!

  8. 01.30.2017 / 10:40 pm

    it is all about respect, we do not have to all want/like or believe the same things but we need to respect the right. Now in saying that I do confess to unfollowing several trump supporters because well, just because
    Linda Cassidy recently posted…Harper Valley PTAMy Profile

  9. 01.31.2017 / 10:00 pm

    I love this outfit on You. You just gave me an idea. . . wear some colored tights under my distressed jeans . . Thanks so Much! I have followed and un-followed people in the past for nasty pictures they post, but never about their writing. My Grandma always say if you don’t like what she had to say then move along; and you better not let her see you cover your ears (LOL). I always have a point of view, that is what make us unique and even though I do not have a large following, just writing what I feel is so good for my mental stability. Write on Sista. . .
    Neti recently posted…Treat Yo SelfMy Profile

  10. 02.3.2017 / 12:43 pm

    Hi Deb! I read through your post and yes agree it would be boring it we all sat around and nodded heads at each other . Thought the same etc. I am open to people and their views! Love the color and style of your sweater boy it looks cozy! I have been seeing more fishnet tights lately and I do love tights but dont own fishnets, cool idea under the jeans! love it
    Thanks for linking with Turning heads tuesday
    jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

  11. 02.7.2017 / 8:08 pm

    It’s one of those things that is so tricky. I’ve thought about it a lot too and have chosen not to go there, really because I know my audience is very varied in both age, location and points of view, but I decided that my space is the space away from politics and opinions (on the whole). Plus I can’t be bothered to deal with internet trolls.