Are you the same person that you were 20 years ago? How about 10 years ago? Or even a year ago?…
…Probably not. We all change and grow. It happens organically. You can’t live life, experience life, and not be changed by it. Sometimes those changes are for the good and sometimes for the worse. Sometimes we are changed by things that we have actually done. Other times we are changed by things that we have seen, heard or read. And sometimes we are changed by things that happen to us, whether they be positive or negative. When the change is a result of something happening to us it may well be unwelcome. It may be painful, it may be difficult but we have no choice other than to adapt. In any case though, change is part of the human experience whether we like it or not.
Other times though, we change because we make a conscious decision to do so. You would think that making the decision yourself to change would make it somehow easier. You know, because we really want it, the change should be less challenging to make. Typically that’s not the case. A self decided change is more often than not rooted in something that we aren’t happy with about ourselves that we want to improve. There’s nothing at all wrong with that, improving ourselves is a good thing. But change is even more difficult when it involves altering a thought process or pattern of behavior that has been part of who we are up until that point. Negative or not, it’s always been part of who we are so the old way is simply more comfortable; it’s easier. Even though the change is for the better, the internal struggle is sometimes painfully challenging.
When someone that we love is working to change something about themselves it can be difficult for us as the “outsider”. It’s not our experience to go through and we need to keep that in mind. Our first impulse is to “help” or to offer advice. Unfortunately that isn’t necessarily what is needed so we have to fight that impulse. Sometimes it’s more important to simply be there. And I mean that quite literally. Be. There. If they want to talk, listen. If they need quiet, shut up. If they want to cry, hold them. If they need to be alone, go to another room. If they want encouragement and support, give it. If they are angry, don’t take it personally.
I have two very important people in my life going through two very different and very difficult personal changes right now. It’s hard. For them and for me. I want to help, I want to make it better, I want everything to be normal. I feel as if I need to do more. But guess what? Those are all selfish wants and right now my wants are irrelevant. What is relevant is helping the people that I love find their way through the dark and into the light in whatever way they need me to do so. And on the other side we’ll find the new normal. We will all be different people; the same yet inherently different. We’ll have been reminded that change is hard. It can be painful. It is exhausting. But in the end, change is good.
Here’s the funny thing about Winter coats for those of us who reside in colder climes…we have to wear them every single day for months on end. Like a bra, it’s one of the few single articles of clothing that is a daily necessity. Even so, we (okay, I) all too often default to one of our trusty standby coats instead of something fabulous. By trusty standby I mean my camel belted coat or my gray wool double breasted coat or perhaps my navy peacoat. All perfectly suitable, but all, shall we say, bland. Here’s the funny part, this heart-stoppingly beautiful pink vintage coat that I’m wearing today is my hands-down favorite coat…and yet, I often don’t think to grab it. It’s like my brain is on some weird neutral colored autopilot. Why when you have to wear an article of clothing literally daily, would you consistently choose the boring predictable option?
I actually have quite a few much prettier options in the coat department. I just have to make the effort to pull them out and wear them on the regular because as today’s outfit proves, the right coat can elevate even the simplest of looks to something amazing. Of course a pair of screaming pink velvet ankle boots doesn’t hurt either. I mean seriously, how gorgeous are the boots? And the color is just as vivid in person my friends.
In case you need a little more convincing in regard to the power of a killer Winter coat allow me to introduce you to my super beautiful friend Cindy whom I met on Instagram last year. We initially bonded over our love of boho outfits, unexpected pairings and fierce footwear and now apparently killer Winter coats. When I first spied this coat on Cindy I think I may have drooled a little bit on my iPhone. Just look at it! Blush pink, faux fur and full length?? Yes, please. If you aren’t already, then give Cindy a follow on Instagram and Facebook. You don’t want to miss out on her fierce style and fun shots! Also, stop by and show her blog some love!
Have at least one special standout coat in your closet (and actually wear it). Your coat, especially in colder climates, is the one thing that everyone sees. The magic of a beautiful coat is that you can throw it over pretty much anything (even sweats that you may or may not have slept in) and look exponentially better. You’ll walk out the door looking amazing with literally zero effort.
THE LINK UPS
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