I have had this conversation on the blog before, and undoubtedly this will not be the last time…
THE STORY
…Cruelty and general nastiness sadly is and has always been part of the human experience. I’m pretty sure that there is not one of us who hasn’t experienced it at some point in our lives. Recently it has become more prevalent, and as I’ve said previously, I honestly believe that is in large part due to the fact that since last year we (in the U.S.) have experienced a major cultural shift. And it hasn’t been a positive one.
There have always been cruel people in the world, but in the current climate in which we live those with a cruel (and in some cases blatantly evil) streak have been emboldened. They’ve feel as if they’ve been given free rein to unleash their vitriol on whomever they choose.
They see our “leaders”, and I use that term loosely, saying and doing things that not that long ago would have put them out of a job and placed them firmly into the role of social pariah. But now they are applauded for their ugly behavior. And if not applauded, the ugliness is at the very least tolerated or ignored. That, in my opinion, has begun to trickle down to the masses. People seem to now believe that it is their God-given right to say whatever the hell they want consequences be damned. Yeah, yeah…free speech, I’m a big fan and I get it. But what happened to common human decency?
I’m sorry (not really) if this offends you, but I do not believe that I, you, or anyone else has the “right” to just wantonly say whatever we please to make ourselves feel powerful at the cost of someone else’s feelings. Just because one has the “right” to say whatever they please does not mean that they should…particularly when their words are an unsolicited personal attack on another human being. That, quite simply, is never okay.
As I talked about back in September, sure, we can voice our opinions in generality. For example, if one does not care for say, wearing pajamas in public, it’s perfectly fine to say, “I am not a fan of people wearing pajamas in public. I think it looks utterly ridiculous.” However, it is not perfectly fine to approach an individual who is actually wearing pajamas in public and say, “I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but you look really bad. Did you even look in the mirror before leaving your house?” Prefacing the statement with words like “I’m not trying to be mean…” does not in any way make it any less offensive. If anything, it is proof that the speaker realizes that what they are about to say is exactly that…cruel and offensive.
An article that I read yesterday about a young mother who was body shamed in public by a complete stranger is what got me going on this topic again. My question is simply “why”? Why would a person feel the need to approach a complete stranger and berate them for something that is absolutely not their business? Why would a person even think that it is remotely acceptable to be blatantly cruel to someone who has done nothing to them; someone who didn’t even know they existed until they opened their negative nasty mouth? Just why?
I personally believe that especially in light of the current world in which we are temporarily forced to exist, it is imperative that we make a collective effort to treat our fellow humans if not with kindness, than at least courtesy.
I am not saying that we have to like everyone and everything that they do, say or wear. I am not saying that we have to agree with the decisions others make in regard to how to live their lives. I am saying that if we dislike something about an individual and it has absolutely no bearing on our own existence, then we simply need to keep our damn mouth shut. There is no need to cause unnecessary pain to another human being in a world that can already be difficult to navigate.
THE OUTFIT
The star of this show is beyond a doubt these delicious blush otk boots. I’m pretty sure that no matter what I pair them with, they will always be the standout piece. While the color makes them unique, it is still subtle enough that it can almost work as a neutral depending on what other pieces you are wearing.
I know this velvet kimono was on the blog just last week. But I love it, so it has been on repeat and will undoubtedly show up here again. The last time it was featured in a more casual look, but I thought it made the perfect layering piece over my gray floral boho dress for a more dressed up look.
THE TIP
Over the knee boots…don’t fear them. They work on just about everyone and can be super flattering as they lengthen the leg line. They look fabulous with jeans, dresses or skirts so they are actually super versatile. You can start safe with a pair in black, gray or brown or if you’re feeling more adventurous pick up a pair in an unexpected color like blush, navy blue or burgundy.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…
Dress: Similar; Boots: Charlotte Russe; Kimono: Forever 21
Debbie, I couldn’t agree more. It’s so sad (not to mention pathetic) that people feel the need to be so cruel. What’s the point? Personally, I think it’s usually to do with jealousy. I’m just glad there are still wonderful people around like you, and Shelbee On the Edge, for example!
LOVE love love your outfit - the colours are just divine and those boots…. heavenly!!
Suzy xxx
http://www.suzyturner.com
Suzy Turner recently posted…Alice’s Pig – Independent London style with a vintage twist
Sometimes it’s so hard isn’t it? The thing is though, the more prevalent meanness becomes, the harder the rest of us have to fight it. And I’m so glad I’ve been fortunate enough to get to know you…you’re definitely one of the good ones! xo
debbies recently posted…Off The Shoulder Sweater & Velvet Skirt: Rebel Ballerina
Right on, Debbie! Kindness ripples out just like evil does, so we’re all much better off when everyone finds a way to turn a snarky or rude comment into either peaceful silence or a kind word. Geez, people, it just ain’t that hard to be nice. You get what you give. And those boots, by the way, completely knock our socks off! 😉
I so agree Kristin…kindness does ripple out so we have to keep doing the work and spreading those ripples!
debbies recently posted…Off The Shoulder Sweater & Velvet Skirt: Rebel Ballerina
You betchya, Debbie! Let’s do it each and every moment! xoxo
Bravo!
I too am at a loss as to why someone would go out of their way to say such a thing.
As a Canadian this behaviour is foreign to me. Heck I don’t even call someone out when they hit me with their grocery cart in a store!
Manners keep society from falling apart.
Do unto others as you would have done to you. It’s simple and it works.
Suzanne
Suzanne recently posted…Boho Style With Vintage Lace Up Boots Buying Online And Paying For Pain
Yes! Manners are the glue that binds it all together. In the last year I’ve told you that I might just move my family into any spare room that you might have…since all of this insane negativity is entirely out of my realm as well, perhaps we’ll be showing up at your doorstep soon!
debbies recently posted…Off The Shoulder Sweater & Velvet Skirt: Rebel Ballerina
Thank you for sharing this. I agree with every word you wrote. My heart is heavy these days I don’t know who people are anymore. I am so grateful when others share and I know I am not alone in my thinking. Bless you. Cheryl @ http://www.northwestmountainliving.com
Here in the Netherlands things have changed too. People get mad for nothing. It s awfull and I don t understand it! I don t understand how one can hate another without knowing the other.
But you look beautiful!
Nancy Baten recently posted…ARMY GREEN SHIRT DRESS MUSTARD CARDIGAN & FANCY FRIDAY LINKUP
Oh there you go again with that velvet kimono that I want and am trying so hard not to buy! Seriously I need to stop buying gifts for myself from Santa or I’m going to have the biggest pile under the tree and that’s just embarrassing, lol!
On to your more serious and so true part of the post. I am so disgusted with our society lately. I work my butt off trying to teach kids to have empathy and think before they speak and then the “adults” and “leaders” that surround them do nothing but bully and berate others, such a cruel world sometimes, but we fight back harder. I am encouraged by all the women coming forward to face their attackers. The other night I heard an old Italian saying that “the tongue breaks bones” and it’s so true - words hurt so much. I have to believe the key is empathy and when we start having conversations with our kids about it and helping develop it I believe we will see a difference, small at first but hopefully it’ll be the spark that gets the fire going.
Thanks for speaking out on this. And now I’m going to try to convince myself that I DO NOT NEED THAT VELVET KIMONO!
xo,
Kellyann
Kellyann recently posted…Holiday Home Tour
The Thumper saying from the Bambi movie has become my standard. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin at all.”
Our so-called “leaders” are no role models for civilized behavior (they used to be better, if not perfect). Let’s keep educating the ones who will listen that being respectful is the way to go, and set an example. I save my bad words and throwing things at the TV for the comfort of my home! You’re a wise woman, keep on keeping on. And looking gorgeous like you do here : >
xox
-Patti
http://notdeadyetstyle.com
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Bravo Debbie, BRAVO!! I absolutely love this post and could not agree with you more. I can not wrap my brain around the current climate of this country. It is reminiscent of how I I explain to my son not to ever bully, be a bystander of bullying and or deal with it yourself. I truly believe people that are hateful and or hurtful are hurting inside. They must be miserable people. This year I have been tested with wanting to lash out in response to ignorant and terrible behavior, but I reel it in and try to kill people with kindness, perhaps it is something they have not received in the past.
Anyway, this look is absolutely stunning! I love the soft colors and your kimono is outstanding!
xx, Elise
http://www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com
I always love reading your “story” sections of this blog. Your honesty and humor really showcase your personality , and make this so much more than just a fashion blog! I always love reading. Plus, this outfit is super cute. The floral boho dress pairs really nicely with your hair and is perfect for cold weather. I would totally wear this!
~xo Sheree
PoshClassyMom.com
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