That my friends is the question…
THE STORY
…what does fashion at a certain age, or any age really, look like? This question has been written about and then written about again. I think it’s probably safe to say that most of us in the over 40/over 50 style blog niche have written about it or at least touched on it at some point. It’s a question I come back to time and again, because it is after all, the foundation of my blog. It seems to be a never-ending debate and quite honestly, I don’t think we can write about it too much or too often. It needs to be shared with our friends, shared with strangers, shouted from the rooftops; it is whatever we want it to be. The fashion and retail worlds need to get it, the media and advertisers need to get it, society as a whole needs to get the fact that we can wear what we want, when we want and how we want to wear it. If you feel beautiful in something that you bought at Forever 21, then why shouldn’t you wear it? For that matter if you find something that you think is fabulously cool in the Alfred Dunner section at JCPenney, then rock on with your bad self.
I read an article yesterday that said a woman in her 40’s or 50’s should not wear the following:
- Big necklaces
- Anything leopard print (seriously, anything?)
- A lace dress
- Too much red at one time (a “smattering” is okay…um, what?)
- All black
- Distressed boyfriend jeans
I give you Exhibit A:
Apparently outfit 1/2 (original post) just might get me locked up in a mental facility. I had the audacity to wear a big necklace and leopard print. Oh, the humanity… Outfit 3 features the apparently socially unacceptable lace dress (original post). Outfit 4 showcases the terrifying effects of wearing too much red when you’re a 50 year old grown ass woman who should know better (original post). Bonus points because I’m certain faux leather leggings are on a list somewhere of things I shouldn’t wear. And outfit 5? Well, that all black look is just a travesty (original post).
And here’s the thing, in my opinion at least, I don’t look unattractive or dressed inappropriately in these outfit. I don’t look like I’m dressing too young or trying to be something that I’m not. Maybe others see my outfits differently, but I could care less. Some of what I’m wearing comes from Forever 21 and Nasty Gal; and no, I’m not ashamed of that, nor should I be. My point is no one has the right to tell us what we can and cannot wear. No. One. What you choose to wear gives you power; it’s part of your identity. You know what you feel good in, what you look good in. Follow what you know, not what someone else tells you is right. I’m all for learning new tricks to style things differently; I’m a sucker for any article with “How to style…” in the title or an article that gives me fresh new ways to do something I already do or maybe something I’d never thought to do. Those kinds of articles aren’t telling you what to wear or not to wear. They’re simply giving you ways to wear it better, and I’m all for that. That’s why when I offer up style tips they are merely suggestions of ideas you can try with things you already wear. They are not “rules” designed to make you feel badly about your sartorial choices.
THE OUTFIT
I saved the final horror for today’s outfit…a woman over 40 who is insane enough to wear…are you ready for it? Distressed. Boyfriend. Jeans. And oh…my…God…they are layered over leggings. Yes, I’m a card-carrying member of the “I wear distressed boyfriend jeans over 50” club. And damn proud of it thank you very much. I’m not stupid though; it was freakin’ cold out so I layered them over black leggings. The sweater is one of those chunky delicious funnel neck sweaters I scored at Joe Fresh for under $10. It’s unfortunately sold out, but why wouldn’t it be for under $10? The fur vest I got roughly 1,001 years ago at Express and it’s still going strong. The boots stirred up quite a ruckus on my Instagram feed. People loved them. You know what’s cool? They are just a plain gray/taupe slouchy boot that never looked quite right and I had worn them maybe once. I was going to donate them, but then I got the genius idea of adding long leather laces wrapped around the shaft. And bada boom, bada bing…a boot I love. Sometimes a little tweak to something you don’t exactly love is all it takes to make it fabulous.
THE TIP
I’m all for cleaning out your closet and doing away with the things that you don’t love. But make sure to look over each item and decide whether or not there might be a slight change you can make to it that will make it worth keeping. Think adding laces or new laces to a pair of shoes or boots, changing the buttons, knotting a too long skirt or top at the hem, cutting the sleeves and neckline on a tee. I’ve even used a necklace to bling up the shaft of a pair of boots. You’ll only be limited by your imagination.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…
Sweater: Joe Fresh (Similar); Jeans: GAP (Similar); Vest: Express (Similar); Boots: Similar
GIVEAWAY DETAILS
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Ugh I hate articles like that…things like that enrage me! Keep on rocking it lady!
Tara recently posted…Four Ways to Wear Floral at Work
Me too! Thanks Tara.
Mary Lou says
Great post! I have been dying to wear distressed jeans (at almost 60!), and have been scouring Pinterest for how-to’s because I’m not about to pay big bucks to buy them retail. (I never thought of wearing leggings underneath….great idea.) I also love the Lagenlook style, and am planning on doing some sewing to flesh out my warm weather wardrobe with more. I hate those articles that set up all those rules! You look great with your style!
Thank you Mary Lou! It does seem counterintuitive to pay for jeans that are already ripped. I found mine on Poshmark on the super cheap, but they are GAP and GAP often has fabulous sales…just a thought. I also have distressed jeans I purchased at Old Navy which is also very budget friendly.
Great post! I have been dying to wear distressed jeans, and have been scouring Pinterest for how-to’s because I’m not about to pay big bucks to buy them retail. (I never thought of wearing leggings underneath….great idea.) I also love the Lagenlook style, and am planning on doing some sewing to flesh out my warm weather wardrobe with more. I hate those articles that set up all those rules! You look great with your style!
I kind of wish you’d included the link to that article so I can go over there and tear into them.
I love what you wrote and shared on my FB page.
bisous
Suzanne
http://www.suzannecarillo.com
Suzanne recently posted…1960’s Style – Vintage Over 40
I kind of wish I’d been using my brain and linked to it…lol! I was doing some reading and research later at night when my brain wasn’t exactly fully functioning and it didn’t occur to me until after the fact and I couldn’t remember where I’d been. I sometimes fall down the Google rabbit hole and have a hard time backtracking my way out. Thanks for sharing the post!
I just discovered your blog through Suzanne Carillo and I’m soooo glad I did! What a fabulous article! You said it so perfectly - and you wear it so well! I would wear everything you have here - proudly! It all looks amazing! Style is an expression of who you are. It’s not about age or size. Keep preaching the message!
I’m glad you enjoy the blog and I’m glad you found me Ronnie! Isn’t Suzanne the best? I will keep preaching…it’s the only way to change the world.
What!!
FFS!!
Can you imagine how the person who wrote this article is going to dress when they reach 40!? Oh my!!! LOL
I’m not ready for wearing old lady clothes yet!! Nor is my mum who is 20 years older…Haha!!
I wear all these things and will be for at least another 20 years, at least!
You look great in all these outfits Debbie, always inspire me to wear simerla too. I’m off to change my all black outfit with boyfriend jeans and put on a lacy dress 😉
Love what you did with the grey and pink picture
Thanks for linking up..
Claire recently posted…At The Park : The Wednesday Blog Hop..
Absolutely insane right?! The fact that some people still think that way is so frustrating. And hopefully if we all keep inspiring one another it will spread and people will finally get a grip on the fact that fashion is ageless.
OMG! I can’t believe there are articles still being written about how we older folks should be dressing…sigh
Thanks for proving them wrong!!!
Darlene Fadem recently posted…Product Review : idakoos.com Custom T-Shirt
I do what I can Darlene…lol. Honestly it baffles me that what we are choosing to wear is an issue to anyone…
Laurie says
You are one of my favorite bloggers. You always look fabulous. I need a bit of your moxie and not care so much what other people think. Love today’s post.
Laurie
P.s. I’m doomed. I wear lace dresses all the time at the ripe old age of 54.
Thank you so much Laurie, I’m so happy you enjoy the blog. It took me years to not care, but once it happens it is so freeing.
Petite Silver Vixen says
My heart always sinks a little when I read articles like that. I mean, for gawd’s sake, it’s soooo ridiculous. I shall proudly be wearing leopard print well into my dotage!
http://petitesilvervixen.blogspot.co.uk/
Petite Silver Vixen recently posted…Wearing Pantone’s 2016 Colours on your Feet | Rose Quartz & Serenity Footwear
Absolutely my friend! I’ll probably be the only 80 year old in my neighborhood wearing boyfriend jeans with tears in them…lol
LOVE this!! I am 45 and a pround member of the distressed boyfriend jeans club not to mention everything else on that list!! My motto has always been wear what you love!!! And can I say I always LOVE what you wear gorgeous woman!!! You rock those jeans!!!
Andrea Nine recently posted…LAVENDER LOFT CORDS
Thank you Andrea! You always look drop dead gorgeous yourself…I love your style! You are 100% correct…wear what you love.
Someone will always have an opinion of what should be worn by whom. My motto is if you like it and feel great in it, wear it! I think you have amazing style and all of these looks are so chic!
Jill
Doused In Pink
Jill recently posted…Winter White
People do always have opinions…even if they are ridiculous. That’s why loving what you wear and feeling good in it is so important; then it won’t make a bit of difference what other’s opinions are.
How dare you defy convention, Debbie!! There’s a special place in age-appropriate-heaven reserved especially for you and me and all our friends because we dare to dress for ourselves, for fun, for the sheer pleasure of it xoxo
Sheela Goh recently posted…Sunny Side Up
Right?! I’m such a rebel. And how totally rockin’ will our corner of age appropriate heaven be?!
Seriously, I am almost 40 and I do not see my dress changing much in the next 11 years!! You wear everything I wear at almost 40 and I think that you look GREAT! I think if you dress in style and it looks good on you, who cares! Plus, I always cringe when I read what I’m not supposed to wear… it just makes me want to wear it even more! Screw them! lol 😉
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom recently posted…Thursday Fashion Files Link Up #49: Layering your Cold Shoulder Piece
That’s my typical reaction too Carrie…tell me I can’t do something and I’m going to do it all the more! The only way what I wear is going to change is if my tastes change. Otherwise you’re right, screw them!
LaureyG says
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I truly identify with your approach to style, from budget (limited) to attitude (I can’t do what?), I am so happy to have found you. Please keep sharing and posting. I am a 58 year old Database Admin/Jewelry Artisan, who loves to rock distressed jeans and cowboy boots. Oh, the underside of my slat and silver hair is dyed turquoise….
Laurey
I’m so glad you found the blog and enjoy it Laurey! Distressed jeans, cowboy boots and turquoise under color? You’re my kinda girl!
Thanks for linking up to Top of the World Style
Nicole Mölders (@HighLatitudeSty) recently posted…Mixing all patterns | Linkup
Thanks for hosting Nicole!
Jennifer says
The list of what not to wear made me laugh so hard my husband wanted to
know what I was laughing at. I’m just over 40 and wear all those things, except the red, but that is because I have auburn hair and have a tough time finding reds I like on me. But I recently bought a red jacket and top.
I may have to wear them together.
I’m honestly not even sure what is the funniest thing on that list! They can all look great on anyone. And who doesn’t respect the 80-year-old woman rocking some red or leopard print? Besides the stupid list maker? Maybe they don’t want us to be Cougars? They are afraid of our confidence in great clothes and and want to stifle our sexiness?
Another great post. Thanks! And please do post a link to that article. I’d love to respond on my blog too (WorkingIt.net) and link to your response!
Jennifer, I could so kick myself for not posting the link! It was late at night when I was digging around posting it and I fell down the Internet rabbit hole…I was so many places I’m lucky I found my way back..lol. Those type of articles kill me; I would like to actually see the writers…who are they really? The sad thing is though, so many women in their 40’s and 50’s feel that way too and I just don’t understand why. Style and sexiness don’t simply vanish once a woman reaches a particular chronological age!
Cheryl Tucker says
This is a great post! You look great breaking the so called rules! I was born to break rules (just ask my mom). ha ha. I just found your blog today and will definitely be checking it out regularly. Peace! Cheryl
I’m glad you like the blog Cheryl. I started it because I love fashion, but also because it’s so frustrating that people, and oftentimes women my age, think that we have to dress frumpy once we hit our 40’s or 50’s and that is so not accurate.
I really do not like what they said in that article. Who wrote that? Your post is wonderful. I wear big necklaces, leopard print, lace dresses, red dresses, and all black outfits! I don’t wear boyfriend jeans because I can’t find the right pair but I’m going to since I read that and will make big holes in them.
Greetings from Elegant 40!
Lol…the right pair of boyfriend jeans will change your life! I have several pairs without holes that I can wear to work, but my favorites are the pair that are totally ripped up.
God, I do love a ballsy gal, and you’re it! You totally rock these boyfriend jeans and despite a huge funnel neck sweater you do look seriously hot. Well done Debbie for stamping your ground, defying the rules, hecklers or anyone else who might get in your way. The rest of us are hot on your heels baby x
Anna
Anna’s Island Style
Anna Parkes recently posted…London highlights
Lol…ya, I have to agree a funnel neck is pretty much the opposite of hotness! I’m glad to know I’ve got a pack of equally fabulous women behind me.
Found you from the link up! I am in my 50th year and regularly wear 4 of the 6 items on your list. You are totally rocking the look and I think as long as you feel good you should wear it!
I agree Colleen and I’m so glad you stopped by!
Great post Debbie! I really think us “older” ladies gotta wear what feels right and not listen to these crazy lists. Always love your style!
Thank you for joining TBT Fashion link up and hope to see you next week.
Alice
http://www.happinessatmidlife.com
Happiness at Mid Life recently posted…Throw Back Thursday Fashion Link Up: Plaid Slip Ons
Thanks Alice! It’s definitely all about what makes you feel beautiful.
Articles like that should be burned. Really! I love leopard and big necklaces, and don’t plan of archiving them or tucking them away even when I hit forty. haha. You look fabulous! /Madison
Star Noir
Thanks Madison! The only way I’m tucking things away is if I don’t love them anymore.