I like to use the story portion of my blog posts to not only entertain you all with my slightly skewed view of life in my little corner of the world, but also to share information and maybe get you thinking every once in awhile…
…Let me emphasize right now, I am not looking for sympathy or pats on the back. I only want to educate and share information. I’ve mentioned in the past that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but I’ve never really gone into too much detail about it.; I don’t really discuss it much in real life either simply because I like to try and pretend that I was never diagnosed with it. Why? Primarily because for me to admit that I am unable to do something I want or need to do is both frustrating and embarrassing; to accept the fact that on some days I am quite simply physically not able to function at a normal level (or sometimes any level) is a difficult thing for me to do emotionally.
I was diagnosed with it almost 15 years ago. I won’t go into detail as it’s a long story, but suffice it to say, it was a long painful (physically and emotionally) journey to finally be diagnosed. CFS is one of those silent illnesses that oftentimes people (even some medical professionals) don’t even believe exists, much like unicorns and Santa Claus. For those of us who legitimately suffer with it, the disbelief only compounds the embarrassment.
We don’t look sick. It isn’t life threatening…so what’s the problem? Take a nap or get your ass to bed earlier and you’ll be fine, right? No. See, that’s the problem. No matter how much sleep I get, no matter how many naps I take, the exhaustion never ever goes away. Take some time to think about how it would feel to be dead on your feet exhausted…Every. Single. Minute. Of. Your. Life. In the summer I’m usually okay because I’m not working. But once the school year starts, I am, and I’m being brutally honest here, unable to function on a day to day basis without medication to help combat the fatigue. To make it even more enjoyable, the more exhausted I get, the more the all over body pain is triggered. Literally from head to toe flu-like pain that doesn’t go away. Aleve and massive doses of ibuprofen alleviate it, but it’s never really gone.
And God forbid that I have to do something outside the normal realm of my daily activity. Whether it be work or fun, if I do anything beyond my normal workday I pay dearly for it. Therefore, for me to do anything extra it has to be really worth it. For example, a week ago Friday my daughter had an 8th grade fundraiser at the football game. I ran home after school, changed my clothes and went back to help out for a few hours. To me, that was worth what I knew was coming. Saturday and Sunday both I was basically non-functioning. Last week at work and at home, I was lost in a mental fog every day, and that was with my medication. This past Friday night I slept for 12 hours straight, I kid you not my friends…12 hours. My body had simply gotten to the point that it crashed. A freight train could have barreled through our house and I wouldn’t have heard it. Even though I know that a crash like that is par for the course when I’ve overdone it, that still does nothing to ease the guilt, frustration and anger I feel when I wake up and realize I just lost 12 hours of my life to what feels like a semi-comatose state.
Over the years I have gotten better at taking it easy on myself emotionally. I said better, not good. I am able to talk myself down from the guilt and frustration a lot more quickly than I used to. I now recognize my limitations even though I don’t like them. I’ve learned to ease up on my perfectionist tendencies and just let some things go undone. Like everything else in life, living and functioning with CFS is a work in progress.
Like I said in last week’s post, who cares about silly rules? No white after Labor Day is just ridiculous. Seriously, why was that ever even a “rule” to begin with? I wear my white jeans whenever the urge strikes, and as you can see here, it struck.
I’ve been loving this chambray tunic with the lace up detail since I picked it up last spring, but I don’t think it’s made to the blog until today. It’s super soft and floaty, just the way I like my tops. There’s just something so pretty about chambray or blue denim paired with white denim, don’t you think?
The chambray tunic and the jeans read casual, but I added my strappy black sandals which combined with the white denim, give the outfit a pinch of dressy. I love a good casual/dressy mix almost as much as I love a good feminine/masculine mix.
Sometimes the only thing you need to change the entire vibe of an outfit is a change of shoes. Think about it…had I finished this outfit off with my Converse or my Adidas it would have been definitely more casual. But add the strappy block heeled sandals and voila…all kinds of fancy.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…