White Slip Dress & Combat Boots: Opinion Vs. Negativity

White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan.

At what point does expressing one’s opinion become spewing negativity? I was reading through the comments on a Facebook post the other day when this question occurred to me…

THE STORY

…The post was a photo of Jane Fonda at the Emmy awards this past weekend. I personally thought that she looked quite lovely, but as I read through the comments several of them struck me as decidedly negative if not downright cruel. When the negativity was called out, someone posed a question along the lines of “Are we only permitted to post our opinions if our opinions are positive?” This got me thinking.

When exactly does our personal opinion cross the line into cruelty? When I wrote the post last week sharing my opinion on wearing pajamas in public, yes, that was a negative opinion; a general voice of dissension in regard to dressing in a way that I view as unacceptable. Perhaps not everyone agrees with me and that is perfectly okay. Was it negative as in hateful and potentially causing emotional pain to another human being? No, it wasn’t. But…had I named the person wearing pajamas in public in my post or approached her in the store and told her that I thought she looked utterly ridiculous, that would have been cruel.

Perhaps when an opinion leaves the realm of generality and becomes more personally directed, that is when the line is crossed. Think of it in terms of positivity. If someone says, “Blonde hair is beautiful.” That’s a positive opinion, although it doesn’t necessarily affect you in any way. But, if that same person says, “Blonde hair is beautiful on you,” then you take it personally and it makes you feel good. The inverse of that would be “I think floral print dresses are hideous.” Negative yes, but it’s most likely not hurting your feelings. If the statement made was “I think that floral print dress looks hideous on you,” that is cruel, hurtful and negative in the worst sense of the word.

Speaking tactfully also has a lot to do with it. If words are chosen carefully with a clear explanation of your thoughts and shared with kindness, that too can make all the difference. For example, if a friend asks your honest thoughts on her new haircut and you really aren’t a fan, you need to carefully word your response to be honest but at the same time it needs to come from a place of kindness. Of course you aren’t going to tell her that her hair looks like she stuck her head in a food processor (at least I hope not). Instead you might say something along the lines of “I can see that you love it and feel beautiful and that makes me so happy. I’ve just always had a preference for longer hair.” That way you have validated her feelings while maintaining the honesty that she asked for.

When the goal of one’s words is to do harm or be cruel, or to make oneself feel superior to another human being then it is no longer simply an opinion. It is nothing more than spewing negativity into the world. Words can can do great harm; you and you alone, are responsible for the words that leave your mouth. And you are responsible for the consequences of those words.

Even the most seemingly confident amongst us can be damaged by cruelly intended words whether they be in person or online. Sometimes I believe that people get a case of “keyboard bravado”, They think that they can say whatever they like without consequence. There is always a consequence. Trust me. Even if the writer of the words isn’t around to see it, there is damage done. So before you put something out there, verbally or in writing, take a minute to consider the intent of your words. Take a minute to consider how those words will make others feel. And never forget, the responsibility for your words rests on your shoulders.

THE OUTFIT

Don’t wear white after Labor Day. Ya, right…whatever. You all know how I feel about “rules”, especially in regard to fashion. There are none. Hence, the white slip dress after Labor Day. With that being said, due to the lightweight material this is definitely a Summer dress. In order to carry it into the Fall season I just changed up the extras.

The two-fit lightweight knit cardigan was the perfect top layer. It added just enough additional warmth minus the bulk of my chunkier knit cardigans. I also liked how the longer back on the cardigan echoed the longer back on the white slip dress. I’ve been trying to up my belt game lately, so I decided that belting the cardigan over the dress was a nice little extra somethin’. I finished it off with combat boots because my all time favorite mix is super feminine paired with tomboy/edgy.

THE TIP

Ignore the rules! Wear white after Labor Day, wear shredded jeans after 40, rock a cropped band tee in your 60’s…do whatever the hell makes you feel beautiful. Fashion is all about expressing who we are, not following the dictates of faceless self-proclaimed fashion gurus.

THE LINK UPS

Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…

White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan.White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan. White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan.White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan. White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan.White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan. White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan.White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan. White slip dress, combat boots and black cardigan.

Dress: Free People (Similar);  Cardigan: Grace And Lace;  Boots: JCPenney (Similar)

**Commission is earned for purchases or clicks made through links in this post.

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28 Comments

    • 09.20.2017 / 9:49 pm

      I really spend very little time on Facebook, but that happened to pop up at the top of my feed. I too prefer to keep things positive and if I don’t like something I simply don’t comment. It did get me thinking though because that was a valid question in regard to expressing one’s opinion vs being negative…I like when things get my brain all excited! Lol!
      debbies recently posted…White Slip Dress & Combat Boots: Opinion Vs. NegativityMy Profile

  1. 09.21.2017 / 2:15 am

    Haha, the dog is a bit shy I guess😂😂😂😂 That dress is beautiful on you…….😉😉😉😉 No, I love that dress, it s fabulous! And I love the way you styled it, I love contrasts in an outfit.
    Nancy Baten recently posted…WEDNESDAY WISHLIST: SWEATERDRESSES BY DRESSLILYMy Profile

  2. 09.21.2017 / 4:27 am

    Love the outfit but your 4 legged photo bomber is almost stealing the show in a couple of these, lol! Hell yes to ignoring the rules, they’re so silly when it comes to fashion.
    Your message is timely. Just the other day a fabulous blogger was the victim of keyboard bravado – it was so awful, I can’t imagine anyone being so unhappy that they could actually write out those thoughts and hit “comment”. The blogger handled it so well,made her readers love and appreciate her more. But words do hurt, spoken or written they hurt. If people could just stop and think before they speak! I try so hard to help the kids at my school understand that.
    Thanks for sharing a great message!
    xo,
    Kellyann
    Kellyann recently posted…All the Ways With GinghamMy Profile

  3. 09.21.2017 / 6:52 am

    Debbie,
    I was shocked by the uproar Jane Fonda caused by looking stunning at 79.
    I found it hard to sit back and watch the commotion she caused on social media.
    There were sights on Instagram that were taking polls on what people thought of her look that evening.
    The positive comments were short and sweet but the negative ones were long and drawn out.
    You wrote a wonderful post today and I loved it as always!

    You rocked the combat boots with your slip dress by the way.

    Hugs,
    Robin
    Robin LaMonte recently posted…Autumn vibesMy Profile

  4. 09.21.2017 / 7:09 am

    Debbie,

    Again I love reading your post today !
    I saw the uproar Jane Fonda caused on social media and was very sad to see the negative comments about her look at the Emmy’s.
    She’s entitled to look the best she can possibly be at 79 and I thought she looked stunning.
    Funny the positive comments were short and sweet but the negative ones were long and drawn out.
    I love the term ” keyboard bravado” that is perfect!
    I see a lot of negativity as an interior designer when magazines take polls on interiors and want their readers to comment on them.
    Magazines want a conversation started but do a terrible job patrolling the conversation and allow nasty comments to occur.

    You rocked the look today too!

    Hugs,
    Robin

  5. 09.21.2017 / 8:39 am

    I only read positive things about Jane Fonda looking so incredible.

    It is true though that we don’t need to be blowing smoke up each other’s you-know-what all the time. That is sometimes what I think all social media and blogging is…just people patting other people on the back so that they too will be patted on the back in return.

    I agree we don’t need to be nasty though. I will choose simply not to comment. Besides, who am I to judge?

    bisous
    Suzanne
    Suzanne recently posted…1920s Vintage Dress Late Summer StyleMy Profile

  6. 09.21.2017 / 11:19 am

    First, love the outfit! Looks amazing!
    I, like many others, never saw the nastiness over Jane. But, I frequently will not read comments sections for this very reason…I cannot deal with people’s rudeness and snarkiness. What you said here is excellent and really a great guideline to use.

  7. 09.21.2017 / 12:31 pm

    Opinions are certainly volatile things. And the very energy of social media is driven by comments and opinions. It is one big slippery slope. If people could just remember one thing – Do No Harm.

    Be Kind.

    Do Unto Others yadda yadda yadda.

    Don’t Be a Dick.

    However you want to say it – what’s the quote, I think by Maya Angelou…”people may not remember what you SAID, but they WILL remember how you made them FEEL.”

    The End .

    Bettye
    https://fashionschlub.com
    Bettye recently posted…Casual Chic in Svelte ShapewearMy Profile

    • Mary S
      09.21.2017 / 6:21 pm

      Unfortunately, I remember what people said when it was hurtful. 🙁

  8. 09.21.2017 / 1:26 pm

    Debbie, you used that belt perfectly!

    I have always loved Jane Fonda. She is intelligent as well as beautiful, and cares about the state of the world. She was recently in Detroit to ask how she can support those who are struggling for their human rights. I don’t mind that she spends money on herself, since she is willing to share it too. She has a tendency to cause controversy, and I hope that this time she no longer apologizes for being her true self. I have decided to be the best I can be and do the best with what I have, so I am good with Jane and everyone else doing that too. I hadn’t heard the negative comments. Now that I know about that, I will give her some words of support on Facebook.

    Best, Angie

  9. 09.21.2017 / 8:11 pm

    You look lovely. That slip dress is so cute. You seem to have a great collection of those and I don’t own a single one. I guess I need to get on board here! Our words can be so healing and also so deadly. I like how you explained the difference between saying something negative vs saying something cruel. That is a good distinction and something we all should think about before we spew. Thanks, Debbie. – Amy
    http://stylingrannymama.com/

  10. Lori
    09.21.2017 / 8:46 pm

    Really enjoyed reading your post and love the combat boots and flirty dress combo. Something I would wear! Missed the pj post. I am guilty of wearing pjs out so I’m interested in reading your post.

  11. Lori
    09.21.2017 / 8:47 pm

    Really enjoyed reading your post and love the combat boots and flirty dress combo. Something I would wear! Missed the pj post. I am guilty of wearing pjs out so I’m interested in reading that post.

  12. James Wallace
    09.23.2017 / 5:50 am

    Hello ..!!! I love your dress and the combat boots as well! Thank you for sharing your awesome style with us.I like your blog very much.

  13. Veena
    09.25.2017 / 11:32 am

    I agree with everything you talked about here in this post. I have myself experienced negative thoughts when I always try to be kind in what I wanna say. Love the white dress on you

  14. 09.26.2017 / 9:04 am

    A woman after my own heart. Love the combat boots. And totally agree with the sentiments on not crossing the line into cruelty. 🙂 Hope you are having a wonderful week!

  15. 09.26.2017 / 11:21 am

    I am amazed most days when I read comments on both Facebook and blogs at what some ppl feel is acceptable talk. As my grandmother used to say “If you have nothing good to say say nothing at all”.
    Victoria recently posted…What’s the deal with Pumpkin Spice?My Profile

  16. 09.27.2017 / 2:35 pm

    I love how along with having amazing style, you always have something important to say. I agree completely with what you said, and I am always so happy to read the positivity that you always spread on your blog. Also, this outfit looks so stunning with your hair color! Love it!
    Thank you for linking up this week!

    ~xo Sheree
    PoshClassyMom.com
    Sheree recently posted…Midweek Inspo – Three Key Fall Pieces You NeedMy Profile

  17. 09.28.2017 / 6:11 am

    Once again, your outfit caught my eye (because white lace and combat boots, duh!) and then your content made me want to stand up and applaud! I always love what you wear and what you have to say, my friend! Thanks for another great message.

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

  18. 09.28.2017 / 8:02 pm

    Love this look and your post! I often think to myself when I read comments on news articles, etc. (even ones where an accident was involved) there is so much negativity, blaming, etc. I can’t imagine where out society has gone off track that people feel it’s okay to voice such hateful comments. My thought is, of course you can say you don’t like something, but always do it in a kind and respectful way. Thank you for calling attention to this topic!

  19. 09.28.2017 / 9:13 pm

    What a great and thought provoking post. Well said and extensively explained. To have an educated and honest opinion is very different then having an opinion that can cause emotional harm, especially on purpose, is so sad to me. As much as I love technology it seems to give permission to people to hide behind their nasty words.
    Great outfit. Thanks for linking-up with Thursday Moda and me.
    bosbodaciousblog.blogspot.ca

  20. 10.4.2017 / 11:58 am

    I love the way you mixed edgy & girly! You pull it off so well

    michellespaige.com