Lace Up Dress & Cage Ankle Boots: Confuse ‘Em With Kindness

blue boho lace up dress, cage ankle boots

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself having less and less tolerance for negativity. Actually, I have less tolerance for a lot of things, but negativity is definitely pretty high on the list…

THE STORY

…I’m not talking about your garden variety day to day griping, like say, about the weather or the traffic on the way to work. I’m talking about full-scale in your face energy sucking negativity. About everything. All of the time.  I think it’s a safe assessment to say that negativity permeates the news, social media and so many other aspects of the modern world that it’s difficult to avoid. While watching the news I often find myself thinking, “Didn’t anything good happen today?”

And then there are the people in our day to day lives, whether they be coworkers, family or friends, in-person negativity is the toughest to escape. If it gets to be too much you can easily turn off the television, put down the newspaper or unplug from social media; but negative people are so much more challenging to silence. I think it would be super cool if each of us were provided our very own real life remote control, like in the movie Click. I don’t necessarily need nor want the ability to fast forward or rewind, but damn, a mute button would rock.

I seem to run into the most negativity at work, which may well be the case for the majority of us since we spend such a large chunk of our time there. Yes, some days really suck; I get it. We all need to vent from time to time. But does every single freakin’ thing have to be awful? Sometimes I just want to look a person square in the face and say, “I’m so very sorry the world doesn’t cater to your every want and whim, but shouldn’t you just be glad you have a job?” Or perhaps simply be thankful for the fact you’re alive? Truth be told, I may or may not have actually made a statement similar to that, out loud, once or twice in the past.

What I have found to be most effective though, is to counteract whatever negative nonsense is being spewed with a positive statement; whether it be in regard to the topic at hand or some completely random little ray of sunshine. While it might not transform the person into a bouncing ball of happiness it does confuse them. And that in and of itself makes me smile because the typical response is this completely baffled expression followed by awkwardness because they have no idea how to respond. After that they usually they just wander off in a state of dazed confusion.

I’m not saying that I don’t have my moments of utter bitchiness. I do. Everyone does. It’s normal. What I am saying is, it is not necessary, nor fair, to bring down everyone else around you. Please, I am not interested in a personal invite to your pity party. And the scary thing is, research has shown that negativity actually rewires your brain. It changes how your neurons fire. Complaining becomes your default setting even if everything around you is fabulous. Seriously, who needs that in their life?

THE OUTFIT

I have been waiting impatiently for the weather to cool off enough so that I could wear this beautiful little blue boho lace up dress. I found it at Target while back to school shopping with the mini. Unfortunately they didn’t have my size in-store, but I was lucky enough to find it online. It appears to be unavailable online now too, but if you scour your local Target maybe you’ll happen upon one.

This dress is one of those rare finds that is a party on it’s own and requires very few extras to fancy it up. With that being said, I recently purchased this drool worthy necklace by Premier Designs from Christy, who is an independent distributor of Premier Designs jewelry that I met through a mutual real-life friend on Facebook. I had picked up this gorgeous little piece from Christy last Winter, so when she asked if I’d like to peruse the 2016-2017 catalog I couldn’t say no. Lucky me, when it arrived I knew it would be perfection with this lace up dress. The rose gold and blue beads were the perfect complement to the colors in the dress and it was all that I needed to finish off the outfit. And like my other Premier Designs necklace, you can remove pieces from it to make a multitude of combinations which makes it crazy versatile.

I don’t often feature bags in my shots unless I happened to have used one of my clutches with a particular outfit. Blogger confession time…I’m super lazy when it comes to bags. I use the same everyday bag pretty much for months. I just do not have the ambition to match my bags to my clothes and switch the plethora of stuff I carry from bag to bag. Ahhh…but this one is too pretty to ignore. And since it, like the necklace, totally worked with the dress I decided to feature it.

THE TIP

You have my utmost respect if you have the motivation to change your bag every time you change your outfit. If you have a lazy streak like me, build up your clutch collection for quick switches when the situation warrants it.

THE LINK UPS

Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…

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Dress: Target (Similar);  Bag: JCPenney;  Booties: JCPenney (Similar);  Necklace: Premier Designs (this necklace is on page 108)

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13 Comments

  1. 09.14.2016 / 6:15 am

    Loving the fun colors and print of this dress, perfect on you 🙂

    • debbies
      09.18.2016 / 6:48 pm

      Thanks Tara!

  2. 09.14.2016 / 8:50 am

    I’m glad you expressed this thought. I’ve been having it too. It’s hard to create a happy life in modern society but it is possible. I’ve struggled and made it happen. Most people haven’t — and they spread their dissatisfaction freely. For some, they enjoy spreading negativity. I see that as their failure to create a good life. We need to steer clear of those people for our own psychological protection.

    • debbies
      09.18.2016 / 6:51 pm

      I couldn’t agree with you more Ally. It seems like so many people do actually take pleasure from their own negativity and it only increases when they can suck someone else into the vacuum along with them. Most of the truly negative people that I know do not have good lives nor are they attempting to change it.

  3. 09.14.2016 / 11:36 am

    OMG…this is so true Debbie!! There’s actually a woman at my husband’s job who the boss had an intervention for because of her negativity!
    Great dress!! I bet it’d be perfect to wear with an extender…..:)
    jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
    Jodie filogomo recently posted…Western Wear 1 (Footwear)My Profile

    • debbies
      09.18.2016 / 7:05 pm

      LOL!! I’m not kidding you, I know this woman, whom I’ve had to directly confront myself, who has been told by numerous individuals that she needs to settle herself down and she does not listen!! You know you’re way too negative when people tell you directly that you’re a buzzkill!

  4. 09.14.2016 / 7:59 pm

    Fabulous dress and I hope to see it again and again. . .
    Neti recently posted…Shades of GrayMy Profile

  5. 09.14.2016 / 8:59 pm

    Positively positive post Debbie! And I love that dress. ❤️

  6. 09.15.2016 / 6:12 am

    Oh sweetie, I preach on negativity all the time!! If only I did have a remote control, this world of ours has gone mad I tell ya!! I live by how my parents raised me, “if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at al!” I want to lift others up, not poison their souls like the negative nellies do to us! You are a light gorgeous woman and I.LOVE.THIS.DRESS!!!!!
    Andrea Nine recently posted…MUSTARD LACE, STRANDED & WHAT I WORE LINK-UPMy Profile

  7. 09.15.2016 / 12:09 pm

    First, I love the purples and blues in yor dress, it is so flattering with your hair and skintone Deb! I can’t take negativity all of the time. I get so tried of hearing about politics, hearing negative gets me down! I love that you couteract with a positive. My mom often prefaces her sentenses with “Don’t think I am a Pollyanna but… ” I have to tell her she is not a pollyanna , just more of a positive person!
    thanks for linking up with turning heads tuesday’
    jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

  8. 09.16.2016 / 8:19 am

    I try to avoid the constant negativity if I can and it’s such a good idea to say something positive to counteract it! The print of your dress is so pretty! Love that fabulous bag!

    Jill
    Doused In Pink
    Jill recently posted…Gingham + Printed Shorts & TFF LinkupMy Profile