Pride Tank Top & Cropped Joggers: Love Is A Verb

Pride Tank, cropped joggers, wedge sandals, kimono

Yes, this is a fashion blog and I am a fashion blogger. But that’s not all that I am…

THE STORY

…I’m also the mother of a gay son. Two gay sons actually because I love my boy’s fiance like he is my own. The fact that my son is gay does not define who he is. It is simply one aspect that is part of a wonderful human being. A human being whom I love with every piece of my heart and soul. I have known that he was gay ever since he was a tiny little person; probably before he knew. And do you know what? That was an irrelevant detail to those of us who love him. It was as irrelevant as it is that my other children are straight. It was not his choice to be gay, it was simply part of who he was at birth. And no. That is not open for debate.

Obviously, the impetus behind this post is Orlando. I do not have the words to impart to you the sadness I feel in my heart. All senseless acts of terrorism and mass killings force us to pause and feel pain, sadness and hurt for those affected. Because truly, when something like this occurs it affects the entire human race. But when one of these heinous and deplorable acts, for any number of reasons, hits closer to home the sadness we feel is deeper. Such is the case for Orlando with me. Each and every one of the victims was someone’s son or daughter. Someone’s son or daughter who was simply living their life. Someone’s son or daughter who left home that night to simply have a fun evening with friends. Someone’s son or daughter who simply wanted to love who they were born to love. And now they are simply gone. Because of the hatred and ugliness of one individual. Because of intolerance to differences that are inherent to the human experience.

The night after the shooting, on his show, Stephen Colbert said that our responses to tragedies such as this have become scripted; we know what the president will say, what both political parties will say, what the gun manufacturers will say.  He said, and I quote, “It’s easy, it’s almost tempting to be paralyzed by such a monstrously hateful act. To despair and say, ‘Well, that’s the way the world is now. Well, I don’t know what to do,” Colbert said. “But I do know that despair is a victory for hate. Hate wants us to be too weak to change anything. Now, these people in Orlando were apparently targeted because of who they love. And there have been outpourings of love throughout the country and around the world. Love in response to hate. Love does not despair. Love makes us strong. Love gives us the courage to act. Love gives us hope that change is possible. Love allows us to change the script. So, love your country. Love your family, love the families of the victims of the people of Orlando, but let us remember that love is a verb and ‘to love’ means to do something.” Powerful words don’t you think?

When thinking about what it is that we, as individuals, can do it seems an overwhelming and impossible task. But then I realized, that while it may just be one drop in the bucket, by simply advocating for tolerance and acceptance of others and their differences no matter what those differences may be we are doing something. If something I say gives even one person pause for thought, then perhaps I have made a difference. I have done something. If each and every one of us steps up and speaks up when we witness bigotry, racism, homophobia, bullying…then our one voice becomes an entire chorus of voices; an entire chorus of voices that demands to be heard. And that is how we, as individuals, can use love as a verb.

THE OUTFIT

Quite honestly, the outfit isn’t the focal point of today’s post. The message is. And my pride tank top that I purchased from the Human Rights Campaign says it all without saying a word. I wear it often, and dare I say, I wear it with pride. I kept it simple by pairing it with cropped joggers and a pair of wedge sandals. And as I’ve said before, a kimono pretty much fancies up anything.

THE TIP

No style tip today, but a tip nonetheless. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, be bold. Be outspoken. Be brave. Be the difference in the world.

THE LINK UPS

Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…

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Pride Tank Top: Human Rights Campaign;  Joggers: Similar;  Sandals: JustFab (Similar);  Kimono: Thrifted (Similar)

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30 Comments

    • debbies
      06.15.2016 / 9:33 am

      Thank you Tara. It absolutely does.

    • debbies
      06.15.2016 / 9:43 am

      Love you too Erin! You and I would so be close friends in real life. I myself am not a religious person, but my best friend and her son who is also gay are very religious. To me they are shining examples of how belief in God, no matter who your God may be, is not synonymous with judgement and hatred towards those who are different. I loved the video you posted on Facebook about the Muslims holding the prayer vigil in the park for the victims in Orlando. It was pretty powerful stuff.

    • debbies
      06.15.2016 / 9:43 am

      Thank you Suzanne.

    • debbies
      06.15.2016 / 9:44 am

      Thanks so much Jaymie!

  1. Janice Stanford
    06.15.2016 / 9:47 am

    Thank you for such a heart-felt post! You are lucky to have so much love in your life; so are your sons. I wish more people would cherish it because God knows we are not here long enough as it is. Love, love, love!

    • debbies
      06.15.2016 / 11:20 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed the post Janice. And I couldn’t agree more…we need to make use of the time we’re given and love as hard as we can.

  2. 06.15.2016 / 11:48 am

    A great message Debbie.

    There is too much hatred and phobia in the word.
    The hate-filled should be pitied, but can be dangerous too.
    Very dangerous.

    Often the tormented end up turning on others…blaming their own inadequacies (or problems) on other people/ groups of people.

    It disgusts me.

    I judge a person on face value, regardless of background, colour, sex, age or sexual preference.
    Being an arsehole is not dependant on these factors!

    I have met many arseholes in my life, most of them bigoted in one way or another…all of them self-righteous.

    The only thing we can do is love and be loved.
    XXX
    Samantha
    http://www.fakefabulous.com

  3. Michelle Mullin
    06.15.2016 / 12:54 pm

    Just ordered my very own pride tank top. Thank you!

  4. Kaylan
    06.15.2016 / 1:00 pm

    I am so proud and honored to know you and get to call you my aunt! It isn’t by blood or marriage but by a simple choice of the heart you and my mother made so long ago to be best friends. Thank you Aunt Debbie for saying what so many of us who love someone who is gay is feeling. Thank you for loving the world and for always teaching all of your children, myself included to love outloud with passion and grace. It is easy to sit behind a computer screen and read these words and think, “wow, she knows what she is talk about.” I however, get the great pleasure of knowing that you live this everyday. Bottome line is I never questioned loving being a verb because you and my mom did a great job teaching us kids that love is so much deeper than just a word we say. The world would be a brighter place if we all had people to teach us to love outloud like that!

  5. Fashionably Idu
    06.15.2016 / 5:32 pm

    Very sad what went down in Florida. Hate so strong love didn’t stand a chance. Just for those moments though cos love ALWAYS wins. Thank you for putting drops in the love bucket with these powerful words. I know the style is far from the focus today but it’s cute regardless.

    http://fashionablyidu.blogspot.com/

  6. 06.15.2016 / 6:42 pm

    What a perfect fashion post and I so appreciate your comments. I’m reading a fascinating and beautifully written book right now, “Giovanni’s Room” by James Baldwin, written back in the 1950’s, about a love affair between two gay men. It’s amazing how far, and yet not so far, our world has come since that time. My college-aged daughter has friends her age who are gay, but who are still afraid to come out to their parents…your son is so fortunate to have you as his open-minded and yes, stylin’ mom! –Ginger
    http://gingerwroot.com

  7. 06.15.2016 / 6:49 pm

    Debbie, I love your pride tank top because it represents everything you have said in this post. I agree with you wholeheartedly on all aspects and I applaud you for being bold. Bold with your words. And bold with your love. For that is where we need to focus our boldness. If we are bold about what and whom we love, won’t it start to make changes? I am not at all a religious person because I cannot agree with people who use the Bible to support their hatred and bigotry. Therefore, I choose to remove myself from that realm entirely. But I do take one thing from the Bible and I apply it daily…love one another and treat each other with kindness…Above all other things is love. Thank you for your contribution to spreading love!

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
    Shelbee on the Edge recently posted…A New Twist on a Old TunicMy Profile

  8. 06.15.2016 / 8:02 pm

    Good words. I saw that Colbert show, too, and liked how he said our responses have become rote. We need new and real action. Like the congressmen from Sandy Hook who are filibustering Congress right now. And teaching tolerance for those who are different.
    Shybiker recently posted…Foreign FilmsMy Profile

  9. 06.15.2016 / 10:48 pm

    “If something I say gives even one person pause for thought, then perhaps I have made a difference. I have done something. If each and every one of us steps up and speaks up when we witness bigotry, racism, homophobia, bullying…then our one voice becomes an entire chorus of voices; an entire chorus of voices that demands to be heard. And that is how we, as individuals, can use love as a verb.”

    Amen, sister. xoxo

  10. 06.15.2016 / 11:17 pm

    Thanks you so much for writing this. It sounds like you have a wonderful son and a wonderful son-in-law to be. I’ve been out since 1989 and this massacre in Orlando has hit me hard. I thought we were past having to be afraid to be ourselves but I was wrong. That’s been very painful to realize. I too chose to wear rainbows on Sunday. I didn’t know what else to do but, by Monday, I knew I needed to speak out, so. I wrote a post about homophobia and the Orlando horror. I know we don’t usually share posts in comments but I’d like to share today:

    http://www.sublimemercies.com/2016/06/moving-targets-homophobia-and-orlando.html

    I think your quote about “love” being a verb is wonderful. I believe this to be applicable to many other justice issues. I’ve fought passionately for LGBT rights since before I came out, and I also fight passionately for an end to child abuse (which is what caused my disability). I’m going to share one other post because it’s about that topic – love as a verb – in relation to helping children:

    http://www.sublimemercies.com/2015/07/the-appalling-silence-of-good-abused.html
    Charlotte Issyvoo recently posted…Moving Targets: Homophobia and the Orlando MassacreMy Profile

  11. 06.16.2016 / 8:24 am

    That’s a very inspiring post in the light of this sad Orlando situation – and love your show of support via that shirt!

    Come check out how I wore ruffles for work & play at the blog – Happy Thursday!

    Rebecca
    http://www.redtagchiclosangeles.com
    Rebecca recently posted…Cubicle to CocktailsMy Profile

  12. 06.17.2016 / 4:52 pm

    Deb
    Thank you for your powerful words and message Deb with your Pride shirt. I appreciated what you wrote.
    thank you for linking up with turning heads tuesday
    jess xx

  13. 06.18.2016 / 9:55 am

    It is so sad to hear about what happened 🙁 Love your pride top Debbie ..

    Lovely outfit Debbie, I have some shoes just like yours..Thanks for linking up to the Wednesday blog hop
    Claire recently posted…Welcome To The Weekend Blog Hop..My Profile