I realize that Mother’s Day has come and gone, but since it was only yesterday I’m still feeling a bit contemplative…
THE STORY
…Last week I did a post on the unique relationship between my daughter and I, but Mother’s Day always gets me thinking about my own mom. I often kind of feel like the odd woman out when people talk about the plans they have with their moms for Mother’s Day. My mom passed away when I was 17 years old so Mother’s Day is one of those bittersweet days of the year for me. I enjoy seeing or at least talking to my own kids, but I always miss my own mom just a little bit more on that day in light of the fact everyone else is celebrating their mothers. I absolutely confess to just a little bit of jealousy; it may not be pretty, but it is what it is.
We had a rather upside down relationship, my mom and I did. It was often the case that I was the adult and she was the child. She had me just three weeks past her 17th birthday so when I was a kid she was still just a kid herself. The situation was made more difficult due to the fact she had developed diabetes during her pregnancy with me and it developed into permanent Type 2 diabetes. It was uncontrolled and she didn’t take the best care of herself so she was in and out of the hospital frequently. After my dad left when I was in the fourth grade, taking care of her became my full-time responsibility.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not complaining. I loved~and still love~ my mother more than I can express, the thing is though, that was an awful damn lot of responsibility for a child. Believe me, I grew up fast. I slept in bed with her every single night when she wasn’t in the hospital. It was a rare night that she didn’t go into diabetic shock, and if I was in bed with her I would be able to feel the sweating or the seizures so that I could try to get sugar down her throat to stop it; I have to say, the invention of glucose gel was one of the best things ever. Unfortunately, the older I got, the angrier I got. Being a teenager sucks on a good day, but throw all of that crazy into the mix and I was one angry young girl. One of my major regrets in life is how I treated her and the things I said. I know, a lot of people regret how they acted as a kid and the resulting pain it caused their parents, but since I lost her so young I never had the opportunity to make things right.
Here’s the thing though, I’ve mentioned before that my childhood made me into the person I am today. Well, so did my mom. Even though I only had 17 years with her, those 17 years shaped me in more ways than I can count. To this day, I still feel her with me. I can’t remember the sound of her voice or the smell of her skin, but yet what made her her, is part of me. I’d give just about anything to have her here with me, but losing her took me in directions I would have never gone otherwise. I owe where I am today to her. She loved me with every fiber of her being. She did the best she could with what she had. And isn’t that really all any of us can do?
THE OUTFIT
How’s this for some color? It don’t get much brighter than this my friends. I love a good floral print and this floral pencil skirt is one of my favorites; the colors, the variety of flowers and the almost water color vibe make it perfect. Instead of letting the kimono hang like usual I decided to knot it and give it a slightly different look. The graphic tee? That’s just me being me. I had to throw in something that took the outfit out of total girly-girl territory into something slightly off. That also explains the black choker and peep toe cage ankle boots. I’ll save the pumps and pearls for my shredded boyfriend jeans…
THE TIP
Be brave. Throw in an element of the unexpected in your outfits. It’s always fun to keep people guessing.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…
Floral pencil skirt: Boohoo (Similar); Kimono: H&M (Similar); Booties: JCPenney (Similar)
What a sad tale. Sounds like you’ve had a rough time of it. You obviously overcame all the obstacles that life threw at you and managed to come out a super fierce woman.
I LOVE that skirt.
bisous
Suzanne
http://www.suzannecarillo.com
Suzanne recently posted…Bathrobe Worn As A Dress
Sad yes, but what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right? The value in the hot mess that was my childhood is I learned to be strong. And brave. And capable of taking care of myself. And those are things I might not have become otherwise so there is an up side to it all.
And yes, I’m a lover of this skirt too…all of my favorite colors all mashed together!
Thank yo for sharing this story - you had to grow up so young. And you recognized the anger, and you channeled it - you’re a hell of a woman. xox
-Patti
http://notdeadyetstyle.com
Patti recently posted…An Architectural Black Dress: Visible Monday
Thank you so much Patti. I debated on whether or not to share this particular story, but I decided it was worth sharing if it resonated with even one person. Adversity can take you down one of two paths and I chose the one with the light. 🙂
Hi Debbie,
Your post brought tears to my eyes. You went through so much at such a young age. I lost my Mom 10 years ago, I miss her every day.
Love the skirt and the knotted kimono!
Laurie
Laurie recently posted…May Days
This is definitely one of my favorite skirts. The knot was one of those last minute flashes of inspiration…lol! I’m sorry that you too lost your mom. The loss of someone we love is difficult no matter what, but I believe that a girl/woman who loses her mother at an unnaturally young age has a particularly tough loss to overcome.
Love this post. Thanks for sharing a little bit of your life with us
- Ana Luiza
Northwest Blonde
Ana Luiza recently posted…Spring Denim
Thank you Ana…I’m glad you enjoyed reading. 🙂
That skirt is so pretty!
hanna marie recently posted…How to look Chic in High Waisted Shorts this Summer
Thank you Hanna!
Hi Debbie, your post has me in tears 🙁
I can’t imagine what you went through losing your mum at such a young age 🙁
Lovely skirt and such a great slogan on your t-shirt! Hope you had a lovely day with your family xx
claire recently posted…What I Wore : Creative Mondays Blog Hop…
I did Claire…it was a beautiful relaxing day. Thank you so much for your kind words. What I write has come to mean as much, if not more to me then the outfits so it makes me happy when my writing touches someone. xo
I’m really sorry that you went through such a rough time, Debbie. And I’m even more sorry that you weren’t given the opportunity to make peace with her, that must be the hardest pill to swallow. I honestly do not know what to say to make things better for you but please know that I am always ready to listen if you need to vent, rant or simply talk, without judgment xoxo
Sheela Goh recently posted…Mummy Dearest & A Link-Up
I lost my mom to colon cancer when I was 36 and she was just 59. I can’t imagine how hard it was to lose her at just 17. Mother’s Day IS hard…
Super cute look. Love the skirt!
Darlene Fadem recently posted…2016 Spring Trend Alert : Sequins
Wow! Someone else who knows. I was 21 when I lost my mother. She was ill; I too had to grow up way too fast. I miss her on Mothers Day and every day but for a short while she gave me her best and loved me unconditionally. I like to think she still does.How fortunate are we? We are the better for having had that love and those hard times.. No surprise I love your style and your attitude about life. I too wear her ring every single day for over 30 years. Keep telling your story. I will be listening.
such a lovely look! It really suits you 🙂
http://chicglamstyle.com
so in love with your skirt!
Irene
http://www.thedailylace.com
You are so right that what we go through makes us the person we are now. That’s what makes you so caring and empathetic (or so it seems) —and most likely makes you a better mother! Keep up the good work Debbie!
Love the skirt (of course because it’s colorful), but also because it’s such an interesting floral—like they are blurry!!
jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Jodie filogomo recently posted…Shirt Dress 1 (As a Duster)
You can’t be mad or regret something that shaped you into the wonderful person you are today. It sounds like it was very difficult at times, but to change anything about that would change what is essentially you! As a sidenote, I love that gorgeous skirt on you. You are killing it!
Laura recently posted…Lace Up Sandals & Confident Twosday Linkup
Wow! You certainly have had an interesting life! I keep getting behind on reading blogs, but clicking through your links here, I feel like I learned a lot about you! Thank you for being so open with the interwebs and sharing so much!
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Hi Debbie, great outfit:). I also love colors and I love how you mix colors and patterns. Great, vibrant hair!
Have a great day, Renata xox
Renata recently posted…5 sekretów makijażu po 40. / 5 secrets of make up over 40
I Love the burst of colors in your floral skirt. Deb, I am sorry about your mom.I can only imagine. With losing my dad just recently, it is so difficult to lose a parent, especially at a young age. It sounds like it was tough then, at the same time you turned into a wonderful lady. I am sure you have memories that you can cherish and look back on.
Looking lovely!
Thanks for linking up with Turning Heads Tuesday!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
I really like this lovely outfit. It smells of summer
You have a interesting blog. I hope you will like mine
a lot of kisses
http://www.welovefur.com
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Great colors & such a fun floral skirt! Love the print
http://michellespaige.com